Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Score:  ** out of ***** (D+)

Directed by James Gunn
Starring Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, et. al.
Running time: 136 minutes
Rated PG-13

Long Story Short:  Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 swoops into the prime opening weekend of the summer, following the first hit film's opening in the garbage heap of summer.  Just as the openings are reversed, however, so is the quality of the two films.  A horrifically bad script is largely to blame for its myriad problems - bloated, dumb plot; loss of interest in its quirky main cast; and mostly poor attempts at humor.  Skip it.


After saving the universe from the evil schemes of Thanos, the so-called "Guardians of the Galaxy" - Star-Lord (Pratt), Gamora (Saldana), Drax (Bautista), Rocket (Cooper), and Groot (Diesel) - have become interstellar superstars.  Their services are in high demand, and one such mission finds the Guardians protecting highly valuable... batteries from various would-be thieves.  In payment, the batteries' owners, known as the Sovereign, release Gamora's sister, Nebula (Gillan) to them.  Unfortunately, Rocket's old habits have yet to wear off and he pockets several of the batteries.  The Sovereign quickly discover the treachery, and soon the Guardians are forced to flee to a distant planet for shelter.  Even there, the Guardians find themselves sought by other forces - one a mysterious being from Star-Lord's past, who takes him and part of the team to another world.  Another, led by pirate Yondu (Rooker), confronts the remaining Guardians.  Although allegiances seem apparent - those who want to help the Guardians, and those who hunt them - the team must rely on each other more than ever before in a quickly-changing galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 features most of the cast from the first film, and significant roles for several newcomers.  The main quintet remains, of course, but in almost every way is not as interesting or as fun as in the previous adventure.  Chris Pratt as Star-Lord is the de facto leader of the group, but is largely prevented from unleashing his new age Han Solo act again.  There are just too many other active parts given screen time, and most of his time is stuck in serious, plot-based stuff rather than the silly or casual scenes at which he excels.  Zoe Saldana's Gamora is even worse off, mostly dealing with a boring sibling rivalry/war.  She is a generic side part here, rather than the intriguing tough-as-nails assassin from the first.  Dave Bautista's Drax is about as annoying as last time, although he benefits from his relationship with one of the new characters.  Groot, now a tiny version of himself, is basically the cute pet of the film, to hit-and-miss effect.  But among the group, Rocket is by far the worst off; Cooper is forced to spit out some pretty terrible lines.  Among the many newcomers, Kurt Russell has the biggest part as Star-Lord's long lost father.  He's a welcome presence, fitting in with his zany colleagues, although a brief digital youth transformation is a little disturbing.  And Elizabeth Debicki, leader of the Sovereigns, is by far the most interesting character in the film; unfortunately, it's a pretty small role.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 retains many of the explicit elements of the first film, but has been blockbuster-ized, spoiling a lot of what made the first so much fun.  Things start promisingly and cleverly, focusing on a dancing, oblivious baby Groot with a battle raging around him as a great 70s pop song plays.  After that, though, much of the premise is not very interesting and has way too many threads, both major and minor.  Added to this is a horrendous script, likely the worst I've seen from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  This weakness is immediately apparent after the introduction, and dooms at least a few scenes that could otherwise have been interesting.  The script is most glaring in much of the attempted humor - it is far more infantile, seemingly designed to please five-year-olds rather than adults.  Sure, there are some funny bits (particularly the Sovereigns, which pilot their ships from afar in essentially a massive arcade game, and their absurd self-seriousness), but it lacks almost any of the first film's mischief.  Despite being "cleaner", this film has some rather shocking amounts of cold-blooded violence.  This is coming from a reviewer not bothered by John Wick, but I found an entire ship's crew being stabbed, one at a time, by a guided arrow to be a bit much.  To cap it off, the film is too long with a final act that sees the chaos of the past two hours collapse into one final jumble before limping on for another fifteen minutes.

***

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is the first big belly flop of the otherwise-impressive Marvel film universe.  The first film was a gamble that paid off spectacularly, following a group of not-so-super (or willing) heroes - without a single superstar character or actor - in space.  It's not so much that Marvel made it into a Serious Franchise (although its convoluted plot did it not favors) with this one, but rather that it became generic, overcrowded, and despite all the money spent on effects, the pitiful quality of the script put it in a league with films like *gulp* the Fast and Furious franchise.  There are a lot of promising elements in this franchise still, from its characters to the irreverent tone (at least the first film's).  But there needs to be a major, major rethink at Marvel headquarters for the next one.  Are they going to boldly continue into new, interesting territory as they've proved they can do successfully - or will they simply use these now-familiar faces as a front for a boring franchise with eyes only for box office rather than artistic success?  For this installment, give it a try at home if you are curious, but please avoid it in theaters.




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