Ah, that's more like it! 11-5 isn't too shabby. Plus, I got a few of the scores pretty damn close. I think that after this week, we should have a critical mass of evidence on which to judge most of the teams in the NFL; for now, things could still be a bit shaky.
Tennessee at NY Giants: Tennessee, 20-14
Chris Johnson mad. Chris John SMASH!!! At least I hope he does, for the sake of my fantasy team. The Giants couldn't even stop the Colts' run game, which bodes very poorly for them. Eli can sling it better than the Steelers' 4th stringer, but the Titans still have a good D. The Giants seem a far cry from their Super Bowl-winning squad.
Pittsburgh at Tampa Bay: Pittsburgh, 13-6
The Steel Curtain has once again dropped across the NFL landscape. It is not an easy task to do to Chris Johnson what the Steelers did. Tampa Bay is also undefeated, though their opponents weren't as good. With both teams sporting good or better defenses and mediocre or worse offenses, expect a low-scoring affair; in fact, I wouldn't be surprised to see both teams in single digits.
Cincinnati at Carolina: Cincinnati, 24-13
The Bungles bounced back well against division rivals Baltimore, with their defense looking good. Carolina, conversely, is looking pretty miserable, getting embarrassed by Tampa Bay. I think this will be decided simply by Cincinnati having a much better defense, and if they can contain DeAngelo Williams, they shouldn't have much trouble winning here.
Cleveland at Baltimore: Baltimore, 27-10
Can the Ravens' offense finally get into gear? They showed great promise coming into this season, with a young stud RB (Ray Rice), a rising QB with more experience (Flacco), and a new proven, Pro Bowl WR (Boldin). But they have done very little thus far. The Browns should provide some breathing room, though, while Cleveland offers little offensive firepower of their own (Seneca Wallace?!?!?).
Dallas at Houston: Houston, 31-27
Yee-haw, get ready for a good ol' fashioned Texas rodeo!!! *end bad impression* Seriously, though, I expect a lot of offense here. Houston has even more firepower than Dallas, but Dallas also has a better defense, so it should be somewhat close. In theory, Dallas will play with desperation in this one, but they rarely do what you expect them to.
San Francisco at Kansas City: San Francisco, 23-17
Well, San Francisco showed a lot of improvement over their horrible week 1 performance in taking New Orleans to the wire last week... but who will show up this week for them? Kansas City is 2-0, but one win was in a monsoon, and the other against the Browns. Plus, for some insane reason, they refuse to use by far their most talented player (Jamaal Charles) in any significant amount (also infuriating, since he's on my fantasy team). Here's my hope: 49ers jump on them, KC can't do anything with their current washed-up RB, then FINALLY turn to Charles, who can't quite get them the win.
Detroit at Minnesota: Minnesota, 24-20
If not now, when? If the Vikings lose this game, I wouldn't be surprised to see Favre on a plane back to Mississippi within hours. The Lions boast an offense that's more impressive than one might imagine, but Minnesota has got to know that it must win this game. Probably more pressure on Minny in this one than on any other team in any other game this week.
Buffalo at TTSNBN: TTSNBN, x-x
This will probably be a route, but I will definitely ROFLMAO if Buffalo somehow pulls it out.
Atlanta at New Orleans: Atlanta, 27-24
Boy, this is a tough one to pick. New Orleans just figures out how to win games *end NFL announcer/analyst impression*, but they don't exactly look dominant yet. Without Reggie Bush, they lose a versatile option in an offense that thrives on versatility. Division rival Atlanta just showed some dominance itself in dismantling Arizona, and they seem to have a great balance of offense and defense, run and pass, etc. Close one, but Atlanta has more weaponry right now.
Washington at St. Louis: Washington, 24-14
This is exactly the kind of game that the 'Skins were great at losing in the past, with their crappy QBs and crappy coaches. However, now with Shanahan and McNabb, proven winners, I expect no such let down. Bradford may give the Rams hope for the future, but they don't have enough offensive weapons and their defense stinks.
Philadelphia at Jacksonville: Philadelphia, 30-21
Ick, I'm not a fan of these two underperforming teams. Jacksonville used to thrive on hustle and making the most of what they had, but now they're a hopeless wanderer that's somehow in danger of moving to another city or shutting down thanks to lack of fan support. And Philly? Let's kick out our longtime QB who has kept us competitive for years and years, and then when Vick plays well for one half plus a game vs. Detroit, let's overreact and crown him the new best QB. Right. Good luck, you two teams.
Oakland at Arizona: Oakland, 10-9
Ugh, can we say crapfest? If this was the only game on TV, I think I'd get a head start on my chores, instead.
San Diego at Seattle: San Diego, 28-9
Phew, Denver assured me that I was right in thinking Seattle was a crappy team with their demolition of the 'Hawks last week. Of course, San Diego isn't the best in the league either, and may face offensive difficulties later if Mathews is out for long, and they can't get another good receiver. But it shouldn't matter in this one.
Indianapolis at Denver: Indianapolis, 31-17
I expect the Colts to continue playing like they did last week, especially with reports of injury problems in Denver's secondary. I am curious to see how the Colts will do against the better teams in the league; they amazingly seem capable of rotating weapons around Manning and a good pass rush, and it seems to always work. Will that continue? For this game, yes.
NY Jets at Miami: Miami, 13-10
Wow, talk about polar opposite performances from the Jets. Fortunately they saved their good game for TTSNBN. Miami, though, is looking pretty impressive under the radar down south (perhaps LeBron's gigantic ego is blocking it?), with a solid defense and a just-good-enough offense. Miami's strength in running should matchup well against the Jets' defense, which does better against the pass with DL Kris Jenkins out again.
Green Bay at Chicago: Green Bay, 30-21
Dang, pretty impressive what Chicago did to Dallas last week. The Packers are gonna give Cutler some hits he'll remember, though, and the Packers' offense is a well-oiled machine that doesn't shoot itself in the foot like the Cowboys' offense does.
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